Hi,
It's important to distinguish between focus and selection. In the screenshot above, the first item is showing focus, denoted by the blue highlight around the name. Focus only applies on car systems that support focus, usually with a rotary knob or trackpad.
The grid template does not apply focus styling to the item that the user taps. Instead, there should be a partial alpha effect applied momentarily, only during touch-down, on that item. The item gets focus styling only if the user moves focus to that element.
It seems likely that you're testing on a knob (focus) + touch system. On these systems, it's possible for one item to be focused, and remain focused, while the user selects a different item. To verify this, you might want to consider configuring the simulator to simulate a touch-only environment that doesn't have focus.
Also, please do switch to using the modern CarPlay Simulator, available on the developer site under Additional Downloads.