I have created and Ios app using xojo, and run using the Xcode simulator. I want to test it on my phone and don't seed to put it on the app store as it is for personal use. I've seen pages that indicate a free apple developer option is available for a limited time but can't for the live of me get my app to actually run on my phone. I've tried both apple configurator and xcode to add my app with no luck
I suspect most folks who develop for their personal use are using Xcode, that's why you're not seeing much of a response.
You can develop an app using a personal developer account and deploy it to your own phone. In Xcode, you select "automatic" signing under your own personal team. Xcode will put the app on your phone. It will work for a week I think before you need to build and deploy it again.
I don't know how you handle this if the app is built and signed in some other workflow. But there is an Xcode menu item under its Window menu, called "Devices and Simulators". Your phone should show up there, if you've ever used it for development. There's a list of installed apps there, with a little "+" button underneath - you should be able to select your app built with third party tools and send it to your phone.
If your phone doesn't show up in the list, build one of the template apps for iOS in Xcode, then plug your phone in and select it as a run destination. Xcode should prompt you to put your phone in developer mode. After you've done this, your phone should appear in the list of available Devices (even if it is only available over WiFi).